Author Interview
A quick Q&A with Mariella Saavedra Carquin
Mariella’s debut poetry collection, Maps You Can’t Make, came out on September 5.
She offered us some insight into the forces and personal experiences that shaped the book and how she hopes it might help others.
What inspired or motivated you to write some of these poems? How do you think this book might reach or resonate with people?
I wrote these poems as a way to process and make sense of stories I kept telling myself. As an immigrant, as a formerly undocumented immigrant, I want our stories to be told. There is grief and loss in change, in moving, and in changing as a person along the way, over and over. The more we see our experiences reflected in others’, the more we normalize our feelings. I used to think of poems as love poems or nature poems—at least that’s what I learned growing up. The poetry I read in college felt distant to me, to my lived experience. I want folks to read and hear my voice as if we were talking. I use a lot of dialogue in my work because that is how I engage with the world—it’s all a conversation.
How do the themes you explore in your book relate to your personal identity, history, or experience?
I grew up undocumented and became vocal about my status toward the end of college, when folks started “coming out of the shadows.” Once other folks started doing it, I felt empowered and it didn’t feel as scary. The more we normalize our experiences, the less stigma we carry. I was an activist for undocumented immigrant rights, and I continue to utilize my experience during that time to inform the work I do now. I went through a hard time recently regarding my status, and it brought up feelings of fear and of being a number. I am privileged in so many ways, and at the same time, when you are called up before a judge by a number, it shows you just how disposable this country views you as being.
How has your personal and professional life influenced your creative development, your perspective as a writer, or the shape this book has taken?
My mother passed away last year. It was unexpected, shocking, and heartbreaking, and I still can’t believe it. It doesn’t get easier. The days keep going and major life changes occur, and that is when it hits you the most. Some days, I can look at her picture and understand, and other days, I can’t believe she lies somewhere. I thought of something recently: how life is made up of shapes, and when something like this happens, suddenly the shapes lose their edges and it all becomes waves of lines that keep moving, and shapes lose their meaning. You can’t hold on to anything. That is what losing her has felt like to me.
As a therapist, I sometimes feel like a vehicle moving around in the room, trying to capture a feeling and communicate it back. My writing feels similar. It’s a back-and-forth until you can catch the thing.
Has your view of yourself as a writer changed in the process of writing and publishing your first book?
It has taken me a while to view myself as a writer. What helped me was reading somewhere that a writer is someone who writes, so if I can do that, no matter how “good” or “bad” it turns out to be, I am in pretty good shape. ✨
Read more about Mariella’s new book, listen to audio clips, and find out where to purchase a print copy or the audiobook.
Author photo at top by Dennis Saavedra Carquin-Hamichand.